Symptoms Of Aspergers In Adults
Aspergers symptoms in adults tend to be reflective of those found in children. However, as adults typically experience situations children do not, the symptoms can manifest in new ways. For example, dealing Aspergers symptoms in the workplace is very different from dealing with Aspergers symptoms in nursery or school. Another example is that Aspies naturally become sexually aware (and driven) following puberty. Thus the Aspergers symptoms associated with social interactions and creating friendships become increasingly difficult in a sexual relationship context with non-Aspies.
On this page we will discuss Adult Aspergers symptoms in more detail including how they manifest and also what can be done to both manage and change them for the better. If you would like a wider, more general description of Aspergers symptoms click on the following link which will open in a new window: Aspergers Symptoms. If you'd prefer to discuss your case (free and without obligation) with a Consultant - you can call us on 01782 855585, 11am to 9pm, seven days a week. If you are viewing this website from outside of the UK we can still work with you. For further information read our page on International Consultations.
Overview Of Aspergers Symptoms In Adults
The first point to make is that people are born with Aspergers - they do not develop it later in life. This is not to say that all Aspergers sufferers are diagnosed in childhood, because many are not. As the severity of Aspergers seems to work on a sliding scale rather being consistent from person to person, accurate diagnosis at any age can be difficult. With this in mind, and considering formal diagnosis is merely 'labelling' - we suggest to our clients that they pay attention to the effects of Aspergers in their particular case rather than becoming obsessed with seeking out a clinical label.
As mentioned in our introduction, the symptoms of Aspergers in adults tend to be reflective of those found in children, although they can manifest with different intensity depending upon the circumstances. For example, as a child, being socially shy on a school playground tends not to have any serious real world consequences. However as an adult, being socially shy when your central heating breaks down in the middle of winter can have genuine consequences. The knock-on effect of not knowing how (or being afraid) to approach an engineer could potentially cause long term health and safety issues. Of course we are looking at someone at the extreme end of the Aspergers scale here, but the principle remains the same for more mild sufferers.
When a person with Aspergers has passed through childhood and into adulthood they automatically develop coping strategies. As most coping strategies are developed in the early years they are simply not appropriate for adult life. Unfortunately as humans (whether Aspie or neuro-typical) once we have set up a strategy we are often stubborn in terms of maintaining and using that strategy regardless of whether or not it actually continues to serve us. The problem Aspies tend to have is that their strategies tend to be more extreme than those of a neuro-typical, so when such a strategy doesn't work... it really doesn't work!!
Examples of such strategies tend to be based upon taking and maintaining control, often to offset emotions such as anxiety. In this respect we tend to see very rigid patterns of behaviour and thinking within adult Aspies. Whereas there is nothing wrong with being rigid when such thoughts and behaviours genuinely serve a person... for most Aspies their rigid thoughts and behaviours tend to get in their way and cause problems rather than solve them. This is not to say that we should be judgemental, as we don't consciously choose what comes intuitively to us in terms of controlling our emotions. However, whilst nobody should feel guilty about what comes naturally to them, that's not to say they need to remain ignorant to the reality of the situation. Whether an Aspie or a neuro-typical, upon realising that the strategies they have developed are not serving them, it makes sense to find a viable solution... and that is where our expertise comes in.
Aspergers Symptoms In The Workplace
People with Aspergers (certainly in our experience) tend to be bright and are often well above average intelligence. Thus it would follow that Aspies should be doing well professionally in all types of work environment. However, although your average Aspie has much to offer in terms of brain power, an eye for detail and an aptitude for process - they rarely achieve their true potential.
This is because the symptoms of Aspergers and the coping strategies they have intuitively devised overshadow their ability and hence their level of achievement. One could say that the average Aspie has wonderful hardware like a fine computer processor which is unfortunately compromised by out of date software. Essentially what needs to happen is for relevant and useful updated software to be introduced giving the Aspie a 'choice' in how to work, rather than being forced to rely on out dated software which (no matter how vigorously it is applied) simply doesn't serve them.
Obviously many areas in the workplace can be affected by Aspergers depending upon the environment. For example, although almost every job involves at least some interaction with other people, some jobs involve little else. Thus social interaction skills, whether customer service, sales or technical advice are hugely important for any employee. The ability to get the job done and often the ability to fit in and be liked by colleagues are often key to promotion. If you are reading this and are currently looking for work then social interaction skills during interview and training are just as important.
If you struggle with social interactions it is because you are using strategies that don't serve you. It is true to say that Aspies need to focus on things that neuro-typicals automatically pick up... but being blessed with a powerful mind compensates you for this. However, in order to become 'good' at social interactions you need to learn the 'right way' to go about it - not the intuitive Aspie way you have being trying to force for much of your life. Nobody is criticising you for doing what comes naturally (as we all do it), BUT if you keep trying to do things according to your old ways - nothing will get easier or better.
The reality is that social interaction and rapport are just processes anyone can learn. For neuro-typicals this tends (but not always) to be learned naturally, whereas Aspies have to 'try hard' often using unhelpful intuitive strategies and as a result never really prosper in this area. Surely the worst way to learn a new skill is to use guesswork - which is precisely what the vast majority of Aspies do. It is hardly surprising that the process is long and difficult and the results are poor. However, the easiest most efficient way to become good at a new skill is to learn from someone that is an expert in that area.
You are already very aware from your own experience of what doesn't work well. Thus you have awareness there is a problem. The next step is to do something about creating a solution, finding an easier and better way to do things and to reap the rewards you deserve.
Aspergers Symptoms And Sexual Relationships
A knock-on effect of an adult Aspies struggle with social interactions (interpreting language, body language and emotions) potentially becomes a exponentially larger problem in sexual relationships. The acceptable margin for error in creating a sexual relationship is far narrower than in any other social interaction area. Essentially if you don't get it 'just right' - you get nothing.
Although Aspies have the same desire for sex and relationships as anyone else, they are often left disappointed. This is not to say an Aspie deserves anything less than a neuro-typical, rather the Aspie struggles with the subtleties of the 'flirting' stage and often moves no further.
This results in two common routes for Aspies... most particularly males. The first route is to arrive at the conclusion that they're never going to meet that special person so they essentially don't bother to try and become isolated. The second route is that they will restrict their expectations and accept whatever they can get. For example, an Aspie may decide that they will only ever get along with another Aspie and restrict their search purely to other Aspies. It doesn't need to be this way... and here's why:
- Attraction is not a choice. Who you are attracted to is driven emotionally by subconscious programming. Likewise, other people are attracted to you by their own subconscious programming - not by what you think about yourself.
- Rapport, flirting and attraction are all processes which can be learned. Thus although attraction is driven emotionally by the subconscious part of the brain - that emotion is created by 'process'.
- People of a given sex (regardless of whether they are an Aspie or a neuro-typical) tend to have similar attraction processes. Thus in order to be successful you need to learn what these attraction processes are and then apply them.
- Attraction process involves certain things you should do... and plenty of things you should avoid. If you do the wrong thing at the wrong time, the process ends and the other person loses their attraction for you. It really is that simple. However, although you may be at an initial disadvantage because social interactions seem overly complex - once you understand how attraction process works and can apply it consistently, you will be at a huge advantage over most of the neuro-typical competition.
The reason an Aspie can become more apt at attraction than an average neuro-typical is that most neuro-typicals don't have a clue how attraction really works. Thus they use whatever intuitive strategy comes to mind and stick with it no matter how lousy the results. When it comes to relationships most Aspies can make huge improvements on how they approach things and the results they receive.
If you would like further information on how we help Aspies - call us on 01782 855585, 11am to 9pm, seven days.
What To Do Now...
We have been working with Aspies for over seventeen years, helping them achieve their full potential by making their lives easier. Poor strategies can create all sorts of problems from panic attacks to nervous breakdowns, from OCD to eating disorders... and the list goes on. The truth is that all the disorders we work with are driven by thought process, which in turn creates emotions and behaviours.
Although Aspergers is a condition that some people are born with, rather than something that manifests later in life - it is still driven by the same processes and thus responds very positively to treatment. Whilst having Aspergers isn't a problem in itself, getting the neuro-typical majority to understand and make allowances for it certainly is. It is unlikely (in the absence of some form of mental health revolution) that Aspergers will become fully accepted by the masses any time soon. Thus if an Aspie wants an easier life and acceptance right now... they have to make certain positive adjustments to the way they process, understand and act on information. These changes help any Aspie to not only 'fit in' with the neuro-typical majority - but also to prosper. It is just a matter of getting the strategies right and then using the wonderful mind you have been blessed with to create the lifestyle you want.
It is impossible to produce a website that is all things to all people and thus there may be an area of your life requiring improvement that we've not covered. If this is the case simply give us a call and discuss it with us - we'll give you a straight answer on what we can and cannot do without any obligation. Our number is 01782 855585 and you can reach us 11am to 9pm, seven days a week.
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